What’s Stopping You?

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Nick Bennett & Rowena Hardy, Partners of Minds Aligned have provided this thought-provoking article. Nick and Rowena are not only long term valued clients of Alman Partners but great friends also. Look up their business at https://www.mindsaligned.com.au/

What’s Stopping You?

Minds Aligned – Thursday, February 05, 2015

Do you ever feel as though you are not as satisfied or fully engaged with life as some people? Does the feeling come and go depending on what’s happening or is it something that has been building over time?

It may feel as though you are holding back in some way, that you know you have more to offer and yet something is getting in the way and stopping you. Do you know what it is?

I would suggest it might be fear and that it happens to all of us at some point but what is it you are fearful about?

Like stress, a small amount of fear can actually be helpful and forms part of our innate survival response (fight/flight). It can keep us on our toes, vigilant for potential pitfalls and unforeseen danger and therefore protect us, however it can get out of control and when that happens it can derail us and keep us stuck.

Fear is an emotional response from the brain triggered by a threat stimulus such as danger, pain or harm and although it is not a pleasant experience, it is an important one. We may know not what has triggered it as it can be an unconscious response. It could be the result of a specific event that happened to us or that we have witnessed, a psychological trauma or just an unhealthy belief, obsession or phobia (an irrational and exaggerated fear) that now controls us.

Some of the most common fears are failure, death, rejection, ridicule, loneliness, misery, disappointment, pain, the unknown, success, change and losing your freedom. Is it one of these for you?

If you recognise that fear is holding you back and stopping you having, doing or being something other than you are then perhaps it’s time to reflect on that and find someone to help you work through it. Or you might like to read a book by Susan Jeffers, ‘Feel The Fear And Do It Anyway’, as she explains five fear ‘truths’ and number five is a good one. She says “Pushing through fear is less frightening than living with the bigger underlying fear that comes from a feeling of helplessness” and whether you agree with that or not there’s no denying that fear can grip us like a vice and it doesn’t have to be that way.


Stephen Lowry CFP, DFP, FAIM, is a representative of Alman Partners Pty Ltd, Australian Financial Services Licence No: 222107.

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